No, I've not broken my pants - but - something even better.

I popped to the shop (Evan's of course) last night and decided to bite the bullet and try a pair of jeans on that were a size smaller. My smallest trousers were feeling comfortably loose but not baggy.

My expectation was that they might come halfway up, or nearly. They didn't.

They went all the way up and fastened at the top and I didn't even have to lie down to do the zip. So I bought them! Immediately. Oh Joy Oh Rapture. They are a little on the tight side, but I don't care. This is the pick me up that I have been in need of for some time.

I'm beginning to get a bit of a collection of jeans now. I'm going to have to archive some of the larger ones. I won't throw them away as I want to be able to see where I came from.

So the shrinking of the belt has stopped - I suppose understandably, but I'm clearly shrinking elsewhere. This is very heartening news. So heartening I fancy a list.

Right, there are loads more things I could add - but that's just going to get silly. There are also bad things that could have a list to themselves, but we've had enough darkness recently.

Find something to be thankful for today. We've all got lots.

So - bodysculpt. It's good fun, a mix of cardio and a bit of a full body work out. I really went for it last night, pushed it a little further, took less rests, used extra weights and a I felt the burn. It was hurting.

I was pretty tired afterwards, and convinced I'd be in a state today, so went to sleep expecting pain in the morning. I woke up just fine! Infact I feel rather springy and bouncy.

I'm confused!?! Does this mean I didn't do enough 'cause it didn't hurt, or am I getting stronger, or something else?

It hurt like hell in the class.

I'm having couple of days off this weekend. I need to go bra shopping, and I'm also tempted to try a pair of smaller trousers on. Not expecting them to fit necessarily, but if they nearly do that will inspire me.

I'm also going to go to ikea and eat some swedish fayre.

So, firstly I made a triptych! Yay me. Secondly, I had a bit of a weird event on friday.

I was busy at a work thing, very tired, and wearing lots of makeup (needs must), popped to the loo for the first time in what seemed like an age, and as I walked up to the mirror, I accidentally caught a glimpse of the thin girl that's stuck inside me. It was really quite scary, and wonderful at the same time.

She's really hard to catch, and like a mad woman I went in to the loo and took a picture on my phone to try and gather evidence the moment. Sadly what I got was a little gloomy, and rather unfortunately makes me think of Isabelle Dinoire, but it has caught a little of what I saw.

It was like seeing a ghost in a way. I didn't want to stop looking at myself as I could still see her when I came out of the cubicle. I must admit I welled up a little, but as my friends can testify, I've been weeping at inanimate objects recently, so seeing a thin woman was clearly going to make me cry too!

As readers will know it's been a slow few months in terms of trousers falling off (although I really need to get to a bra shop - but I'll not bore you with that!) So I was happy to see this woman stuck inside me, but didn't really think -'wow I look thinner than I used to.'

That was until tonight when making this post. I decided to look at some pictures taken a year ago. I cannot believe the difference. I feel exactly the same as the 'fat' woman in the middle picture - I AM her, in mood, humour and mind and when I look in the mirror I believe that's what I'm seeing. The woman on the right is definitely thinner (if a little gloomy!)

Another weird thing. The picture on the left - my profile pic is (was) my favourite ever picture of me - portrait wise. Of the real me (not dressed up as a loon!) It was taken by my dearest friend vic a few too many years ago. This is the ONLY photo of me for a very long time that I was able to look at and think "I look nice, I'm pretty, I'm a little enigmatic, I want other people to look at this, I'm not ashamed of myself."

I don't have any others. I have lots of amazing silly ones, but this is the only one in which I saw beauty.

I have just realised, that I am now thinner than I am in my 'perfect' picture. (considerably older, but hey, I can't do miracles!)

In my happy state of mind I sent a message to my friend vic, with the picture on the right attached, to show her the woman I found. She asked me 'why?', and I said, 'because I like what I saw'. She replied with a wonderful message that has made me feel really good.

Thanks Vic

"Emm, you are beautiful, and what you are doing for yourself is only working to magnify this."

I'm feeling very lucky at the moment. In many ways. (although i didn't get one sodding number on the sodding lottery)